Alkalinity and My Disdain for Technology

I had a great post written yesterday morning.

It was a beautiful sunny day, I had just gone for an intense yet relaxing 20km bike ride around the Seawall, and I had a perfectly crafted cup of vanilla coconut oil coffee in my hand.

My posts are always set to auto-save. Rarely do I ever actually hit the “Save Draft” button. But after proof-reading my post I quickly added a final sentence and hit “Save Draft” before stepping away from the computer. I came back 10 minutes later to add my photos and there was nothing.

Nadda. Zilch. No words. No revisions for me to re-store my post from. It was so strange that under most circumstances I would question whether I had actually written that post. I would have thought that maybe I had a mini endorphin-induced out-of-body experience and I only IMAGINED writing that post while I lay comatose on the couch.

But after the last few days, no last few WEEKS, I’ve had with technology, this was just another piece of shit to add to the pile. I didn’t even get pissed off. I just closed my laptop and walked away.

Let’s go back to November-ish. The printer I purchased in May decided that it would no longer print black ink. Just colour. So all my documents were printed with the darkest blue I could find. Eventually it didn’t want to print any colour anymore, so it was exchanged for a “new and improved model”. But of course the $80 worth of ink I purchased for the old printer in an attempt to get it working again was incompatible with the new printer.

I quickly discovered my “new and improved” printer didn’t like to print multi-page documents at the same time. The top of Page 1 would print at the bottom of Page 2, words at the bottoms of pages would be blurred, single-page documents that I’d print from my iPhone would print in 24pt font and take up 3 pages. But I worked around it, learned to only print individual pages one at a time, and to never print anything straight from my iPhone.

But last Friday my acceptance of this annoyance gave way. I was trying to print a flyer that had those little bits of phone numbers you tear off the bottom, and, you guessed it, none of the phone numbers worked. After spending an hour and 40 minutes on the phone with HP Customer Support, having them manually take over both my desk top and lap top, printing EIGHT of my full-colour flyers, and being shown how to take screen shots of documents because “the problem is with Microsoft Word, not the printer”, they finally agreed that there was something wrong with the printer and offered to send me a new one, as well as reimbursement for the ink for my old printer.

I have since discovered that the issue MAY have been due to the paper tray not being in its proper position. But I have yet to try printing a multi-page document, so only time will tell….(since I now have an unopened box with the new printer in my possession I REALLY hope there actually is something wrong with the first).

The next day my dear mother came over early before our training session to help me get my business ducks in a row. But the touch pad mouse for my laptop no longer worked. No worry, I had a spare mouse to use. I opened another flyer I wanted to place in a different location, but the phone numbers had shifted and that annoying little anchor in Microsoft Word wouldn’t let me move them (my annoyances with Word over the past few months could be a whole other post on their own, and if one more thing happens they likely will be). Again, not a worry. Things like this were just commonplace now.

I had some reading to do before writing my post yesterday, and I felt that it would be a good idea to load my hands up with coconut oil and stick some socks on them while I did so. I got the external mouse because I figured my socked-hands wouldn’t work on the touch pad (which by the way had just been de-activated by the HP guy), and waddya know, the computer wouldn’t recognize the mouse. Turns out socked-hands DO work on a laptop mouse, so I was saved there.

My phone consistently crashes while trying to upload Instagram photos, certain videos just won’t trim, Word continues to be an asshole to me on a daily basis, and a whole other multitude of things have me continuously saying “why does technology hate me???” And then my blog post vanished.

But c’est la vie, right? In technology’s defense maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. But I don’t think I’m any less tech-savvy than the average chick, so can all these things really be so advanced that I can’t wrap my head around them while everyone else just swipes and clicks their life into perfect organization?

Maybe. But for now I’m going to put technology and its crappy developers at fault to make myself feel better. 🙂

ANYWAY. A couple of weeks ago I did my Wild Rose-inspired cleanse (if you missed the post that explains what it’s about you can read it here and here). This was a pretty different way of eating for me so I had to get creative with my meals. I’ve got three dishes I’d like to share with you today! One I came up with on my own and two were from the Wild Rose website that I doctored up a bit to suit what I had on hand.

These recipes promote alkalinity within the body, something that allegedly improves energy levels, reduces digestive issues, and can even help with migraines and depression. I’m a pretty critical thinker and there aren’t a ton of scientific studies backing up the “acidic vs alkaline” argument, but I felt quite energized and much less bloated during my two-week cleanse. And besides, you can’t argue with eating whole, unprocessed foods! These dishes are becoming regulars in my kitchen so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

photo 2 (1)

Veggie-Fried Quinoa
This alkaline spin on the classic Chinese takeout dish uses coconut aminos for seasoning instead of soy sauce. Coconut aminos are gluten-free and soy-free and have a nearly neutral pH so they’re very cleanse-friendly. I have yet to find them in Canada, though. I purchased mine from Whole Foods in Seattle.

1 cup dry quinoa
1 tbsp coconut oil
2.5 cups frozen mixed vegetables
2 medium carrots, shredded
4 eggs
Coconut aminos, to taste

1. Bring quinoa and 2 cups of water to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until water is fully absorbed, approximately 7-10 minutes
2. Meanwhile, melt the coconut oil in a large frying pan. When the quinoa is cooked add it, along with the frozen mixed vegetables and shredded carrot. Stir well so as much of the mixture is coated with oil as possible
3. Scramble 4 eggs in a separate pan until just cooked, then add to the veggie and quinoa mixture
4. Add coconut aminos to taste. The flavour of coconut aminos is much more mild than that of soy sauce, so I added around 8 or 9 shakes to the pan. They have much less sodium than traditional soy sauce and even tamari, so go ahead and be generous.
5. Let the flavours meld for a few minutes, then serve! This will keep in an airtight container for up to 5 days and provided numerous snacks and lunches for both myself and Jordan.

photo 3 (1)

Brown Rice-Stuffed Acorn Squash
This recipe came from the Wild Rose website and actually called for wild rice. I only had brown rice, but I think it worked just fine with the other ingredients. This made for a great side dish, and I found that half of a squash half was more than enough.

2 medium acorn squash, seeded, halved and drizzled with olive oil
1 cup dry brown rice
1 tbsp coconut oil
1/3 medium onion, diced
1 large clove garlic, crushed and finely chopped
1/3 cup chopped nuts; I used almonds
1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
Dried sage, to taste

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. In a large roasting pan place squash halves face down and roast for 25 minutes, or until fork-tender
3. Bring brown rice and 1.5 cups of water to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until the water is fully absorbed. Brown rice always stumps me; sometimes it takes 20 minutes to cook, other times it takes 40 minutes to cook. Just keep an eye on it.
4. Heat the coconut oil in a large frying pan. Add the onions and cook 3-5 minutes or until translucent. Add the garlic, parsley, and 1/2 of the nuts. Cook until the pan becomes fragrant, then add cooked rice and sage and mix well.
5. When the squash is done fill each squash half with the rice mixture. Top with remaining chopped nuts, then place back in the oven for another 15-20 minutes, or until golden.

photo 1 (2)

Coconutty Fruit & Nut Butter
This isn’t so much a recipe as it was just tossing whatever fruits I had on hand in a bowl, smothering them with almond butter, and topping them with coconut. I was really worried about missing my nighttime yogurt bowls but this satisfied my sweet tooth just fine.

Fruit of choice
1 tbsp nut butter of choice (just nuts; no added sugars or oils, and peanut butter is NOT cleanse-friendly)
1 tbsp unsweetened shredded coconut

1. Add fruit to a bowl and cover with as much nut butter as possible. This may take some strategic stirring, but you want every little piece of fruit to have at least a bit of nut buttery goodness! I used chopped apples and then added frozen blueberries once I had evenly distributed the almond butter
2. Top with coconut and enjoy!


2 thoughts on “Alkalinity and My Disdain for Technology

    • Thank you! Let me know if you give them a shot! And yes….I’m totally blaming technology on this one because the new printer STILL doesn’t work! But that’s okay; I’ve surrendered to this battle lol.

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